


I wanted to be a wizard

by Chacat



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28089717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chacat/pseuds/Chacat





	I wanted to be a wizard

People sometimes asked me, back when I was eight or so, what I wanted to be when I grow up. I wanted to be a wizard, I’d say, and they’d laugh and nod and say that yes, that was very fitting for me. They’d tell me I had the right kind of mind for it, they’d tell me it’s so lovely when children follow in their parents’ footsteps.

They never asked me what  _ else  _ I wanted in life.

Later, when I was studying, I could probably have told you what else I wanted. Friends. A girlfriend. A stable runic circle of my own making. The feeling that I could go to a party, get to know someone, and that they would like me. There were things I enjoyed, and there were things I strived for, and there were things I missed.

There were theoretical questions about the arcanum that I wanted answered. For instance, was magic an individual creation dependent on the caster, or was it a physical manifestation of the arcane realm? Don’t worry if the question seems inconsequential to you—it is exactly that, a philosophical discussion that we can show will not matter for practical magic. Maybe even having an opinion on the matter makes me a loony.

It was, in any case, something I wanted. It was important, and sometimes—albeit rarely—I’d come across someone else who cared about these things and it would be like meeting my soulmate.

I became a wizard. I’m not fantastic at it, but I got a job as a magical distribution system router. I’m the person who makes sure that when you phase something to your friend, it comes out at his end in one piece. There’s a lot going on under the hood to make it look so simple, and it’s a pleasure working on it.

There’s a lot to do. Heck, I wish there was more time in the day to do it. These aren’t the same questions, but I have colleagues who care about them, people I can discuss them with. It feels good—you don’t get it, it feels  _ really _ good. Maybe that’s why the other questions don’t seem so important any more. Although, of course, that’s only the technical ones, the ones about friends, about a girlfriend...

It’s not that I don’t have time for it. There is so much to do at work, but of course, I have weekends, evenings. I wish there was more time in the day to get things done. 

I wish there was less time in the rest of the day.

I wish the “else” question wasn’t a thing.


End file.
